Love of my life. I’d love to keep you with me.
11 August 2009
I have been living in a different timezone and a different world from the people around me for the past few months if you know what that means. Haha.
I used to make it a point to try and stay in touch with people whom I want to be friends with but being a friend of convience really bugs me, what that means is that you are only a friend when they needed help or they are just feeling bored. I tried to stay in touch with “them” but some just don’t reciprocate. I have actually decided to just talk to a handful of my friends because they are enough to make my day. :)
I’ve also been staying in the study lounge after school to study for my final.
You are alway dreaming of being them, someone who is amazing. But do you know you can make a difference too? If you try hard enough.
Today I went out with my friends, Sharmilah, Noreen and Sonia. There was supposed to be more people joining us but apparently no. Catch Harry Potter And The Half Blood Prince for the second time and it was still greaat. But someone fell asleep throughout the whole movie and she slept so soundly. Oh my god. Haha. Dine at Breeks and the chicken was so goood.
The day didn’t go as planned, it was pretty screwed up when we went for Ignite instead of Ice-skating. The day becomes pretty much less appealing to me when I saw him.. whatever. He was actually trying so hard when he talks to Andrew, the guy that just came back from Texas. But it was great when I saw Rabanni and this cute guy who looks so cute when he touches his chest. Haha. He is so cutee!!
I will probably stop trying so hard and pretend to like something which I don’t. I might be labeled as whatever when I said this but seriously, I don’t like gig it just freaks the hell out of me. It is just not me, really.
My thoughts are still pretty messed up, I am not sure if I am supposed to continue to dream of meeting people I will never have the chance to meet. And on the other hand, I am not really a good friend. Sometimes, I thought making friend is simple but then it became complicated and make me lose two friends. But now, is making friend simple or not as simple as I thought it is?
All I know is that I want to live my own life, with the people I like. Even though I am still thinking what does it means by “Living your life”.. I am not going to pretend to like some people when I don’t. It gets really tiring over the period of time and it will make me feel like a bad person. I am going to rearrange my friend’s list and I might sound like a depressed girl but I am definitely not. Because having a few good friends is better than having many friends which you will have to pretend while talking to them.
As for school, I want to get good grades again, it is getting worst each week. From a B to a C to a D grade, makes me feel..regret. I will definitely do better in semester two.
Happy birthday!! I hope you know you are an amazing guy. You never fail to make my day with your daily updates + stunt + your friends (: I love you x2 to the power of 1000.
I have retreated into my own thinking and trying to sort things out myself. Everything is so jumbled up all of a sudden, I am nearly speechless and it actually brings me down. For the past few days, too many things amazed me in different way which lead me to a situation I have never be in before. It makes me think a lot about life actually. Heres just a bit of what I have been up to.
My life is messed up by myself. I am going to give myself a few more days, to be exact two days more to think through.
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